scatterbrained.

nervous.
anxious.
nesting.
punchy.
tired.
happy.
sad.
stressed.
distracted.

I feel a bit ADD these days.
The whole "being able to count on 2 hands the days before A's big return" is mind boggling.
Swirling thoughts and worries consume me.
and in turn, trickle into the kids behavior as well.
currently on the brain...
The fact that I really need to make the switch to waterproof mascara because even though Halloween is fast approaching, raccoon eyes are so not me.
Nervous eating is a super bad habit.
I made sugar pumpkin cookies yesterday and 7 layer bars today.
If I keep this up, I may not be able to zip my Welcome home dress.
and the fear of the unknown.
How are the kids going to react to finally seeing Daddy again?
How do little brains even begin to comprehend where the heck he has been?
My hope is that the lost/apart time dissipates as soon as we embrace.
What does it feel like to get an intimate kiss?
Is it just like the whole bicycle theory, that you never forget?
and by nature, we have formed into a 3 ring circus and is a 4th member going to cramp that a little?
Once the euphoric stage wears off from the first seeing each other bit, how is it going to be?
readjusting all the way around.
No more every Saturday doughnut, garage sale, Lakeshore Learning, beach days.
no more cereal boxes in bed while Mommy sleeps a few extra minutes.
Or having breakfast for dinner twice a week.
But loads of love and needed support.
My best friend will be back and I foresee many wine filled, eating out of the ice cream container and talking till the wee hours nights ahead of us.
and that makes me cry.
To see him playing with the kids again.
Hearing his jeep pull up after being at work all day.
Nasty, stinky running shoes at the door.
His toothbrush.
His voice.
His smell.

I have missed him immensely and am so thankful he is coming home to us safe and sound.
Complete as a family again.
As it should be.

Thanks to everyone that has been there for us through this time.
I felt the love and it made this all bearable.