Sunday, September 28, 2008

scatterbrained.

nervous.
anxious.
nesting.
punchy.
tired.
happy.
sad.
stressed.
distracted.

I feel a bit ADD these days.
The whole "being able to count on 2 hands the days before A's big return" is mind boggling.
Swirling thoughts and worries consume me.
and in turn, trickle into the kids behavior as well.
currently on the brain...
The fact that I really need to make the switch to waterproof mascara because even though Halloween is fast approaching, raccoon eyes are so not me.
Nervous eating is a super bad habit.
I made sugar pumpkin cookies yesterday and 7 layer bars today.
If I keep this up, I may not be able to zip my Welcome home dress.
and the fear of the unknown.
How are the kids going to react to finally seeing Daddy again?
How do little brains even begin to comprehend where the heck he has been?
My hope is that the lost/apart time dissipates as soon as we embrace.
What does it feel like to get an intimate kiss?
Is it just like the whole bicycle theory, that you never forget?
and by nature, we have formed into a 3 ring circus and is a 4th member going to cramp that a little?
Once the euphoric stage wears off from the first seeing each other bit, how is it going to be?
readjusting all the way around.
No more every Saturday doughnut, garage sale, Lakeshore Learning, beach days.
no more cereal boxes in bed while Mommy sleeps a few extra minutes.
Or having breakfast for dinner twice a week.
But loads of love and needed support.
My best friend will be back and I foresee many wine filled, eating out of the ice cream container and talking till the wee hours nights ahead of us.
and that makes me cry.
To see him playing with the kids again.
Hearing his jeep pull up after being at work all day.
Nasty, stinky running shoes at the door.
His toothbrush.
His voice.
His smell.

I have missed him immensely and am so thankful he is coming home to us safe and sound.
Complete as a family again.
As it should be.

Thanks to everyone that has been there for us through this time.
I felt the love and it made this all bearable.

14 comments:

Debee Campos said...

I am SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!!
dang that is a whooooooooooole lot to think about
but you know what, you are AMAZING!!!! you are super mom and wife, you love love love your family and i just needed to remind you that YOU ROCK!!!!
:)
love
d

Debee Campos said...

I am SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!!
dang that is a whooooooooooole lot to think about
but you know what, you are AMAZING!!!! you are super mom and wife, you love love love your family and i just needed to remind you that YOU ROCK!!!!
:)
love
d

Deanna G. said...

oh. my. gosh. mR! *so* *so* soon! i'm so happy/excited/thrilled for you and the kids :) and yeah, sounds like a lot of thoughts running around but you've done fantastic and have so much to be proud of!

dude. when you started on the first embrace part.. i totally had a hollywood movie kinda vision ;) XO!

EliseBlaha said...

OH GOOD.
it is the end of a fairy tale...you will figure it out just fine.

staceyfike said...

SO happy for you!
SO happy!
and holy crap! jason mraz doing melt with you!! love it!!

*CER* said...

oh yay!
*finally*
so happy for all of you...:)

kokopuffs said...

i can't wait for you guys either...

stephanie howell said...

i couldn't be happier for you.
and it IS just like riding a bike. but much much hotter. hehehehe.

sara berry said...

Love conquers all. That is it. You are gonna be fine, and stronger for having gone through the time apart...I promise.
Miss you and wish I was closer to eat some of your nervous cooking.
XO
S

scrappinJen said...

goose bumps cover my whole body. so happy for you. you deserve it SuperMom! know you are loved.

miss morgan... said...

awwwww! i am so excited for you guys! not that i know anything really, but i feel like things will fall into place. i'll be thinking about y'all!

Cat said...

cereal box in bed...HAHAHAHAHAHA! I love it.

amber said...

So so so happy for the Ramirez family. This post was amazing. So many emotions, I'm sure. What an exciting time for you guys!!

kerry lynn said...

you are amazing chellers
i have no idea how you did it
but i am SO SO SO happy
your other half is coming home
safe & healthy!
loves!!